Offense

Nothing can kill intimacy between you and God more quickly than offense. Offense is defined by: annoyance or resentment brought about by a perceived insult to or disregard for oneself or one's standards or principles. It's not unforgiveness because that means we won't let go of the person's debt or perceived crime against us. Offense is more like being hurt and staying that way. Just plain old resentful. Carrying around the pain because someone hurt you is more like offense. You let go of their transgression but you still are holding on to the pain. Guess what? The longer you let it fester the more chances it will turn into resentment and unforgiveness. The next thing you know you are far from feeling the presence of God. The pain and hurt you feel takes over. Soon you are angry all of the time taking things out on others because you can't stuff it down. You start thinking about what that person did all of the time and your thoughts are far from God. YOU CANNOT stay on the narrow road and allow that kind of anger to dominate you. That is walking in the way of Cain. "Woe to them! For they have gone in the way of Cain, have run greedily in the error of Balaam for profit, and perished in the rebellion of Korah." Jude v 11 Cain killed his brother. That's where the spirit of offense leads. You will have so much anger that you will kill righteous Abel just because you hate his relationship with God. You wish you were there but can't because of the anger and offense in your heart. So the Lord said to Cain, “Why are you angry? And why has your countenance fallen? 7 If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin lies at the door. And its desire is for you, but you should rule over it.” Genesis 4:6,7

That kind of anger turns into a spirit of murder. We need to rule over our feelings not the other way around. "He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, And he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city." Proverbs 16:32 “You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not murder,and whoever murders will be in danger of the judgment.’ 22 But I say to you that whoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment. And whoever says to his brother, ‘Raca!’ shall be in danger of the council. But whoever says, ‘You fool!’ shall be in danger of hell fire. 23 Therefore if you bring your gift to the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, 24 leave your gift there before the altar, and go your way. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift. Matthew 5:21-24

Anger leads to calling people names, cursing them, false accusation, gossip and slander. This is the sin of reviling. God's word says we will not enter into the kingdom of heaven if we are revilers. 1 Cor. 6:9-10 The worse consequence however is what it ultimately leads to: "But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses." Matthew 6:15 Unforgiveness always leads to separation from God! You become like the person with the stone in their hand when God is asking you to drop it. NO ONE is without sin. An offended heart is a heart that is separated from God. I can't tell you the countless people that have walked away from God or cannot seem to stay in fellowship with God because of this. Just this week I was there too! I had to name each person that hurt me and forgive each action they offended or hurt me with. Father, I forgive so and so for.....and I loose the offense from my heart. Ahhhhh, such freedom. Like Jesus said, "Forgive them Father for they know not what they do." Not easy but if you pray for those who hurt you and despitefully use you God will give you the grace to move forward. Love does not keep a record of wrong doing! Amen!

Bitterness the Poison In Our Souls

Exercise foresight and be on the watch to look [after one another], to see that no one falls back from and fails to secure God’s grace (His unmerited favor and spiritual blessing), in order that no root of resentment (rancor, bitterness, or hatred) shoots forth and causes trouble and bitter torment, and the many become contaminated and defiled by it

—Heb 12:15 Amplified

How do people become bitter?
Bitterness comes from unmet expectations, past hurt, continuous injustice, breach of trust, slander, violations against the human soul such as broken boundaries, and other people who are bitter. Bitterness or resentment will cause you to fail to secure God's grace! God's grace in this scripture is charis: favor, goodwill, loving-kindness, and mercy of God. We need to sow mercy (undeserved love) into others so we can reap it in ours. Please read over Hebrews 12:15 carefully. Bitterness will cause us to live in torment and becomes a spiritual contamination in your life that contaminates others. Everywhere we go it will cause trouble. We won't be able to get along with others because if we feel they touch us wrong we will overreact because bitterness is a festering wound. Imagine a wound with pus coming out of it. That's what bitterness looks like in the spirit. Let's look at this word defile it means to: to dye with another color, to stain, pollute, and to defile with sins. As God's bride, our wedding dress needs to be without stain. When other people are bitter it is our responsibility to guard our hearts and keep ourselves without stain. Let's see how we can become bitter or defiled.

And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31 Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. 32 And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you. Ephesians 4:30-32

Like I mentioned before bitterness can come from other people. The number one way to get contaminated by bitterness is evil speaking. When I looked up the word "evil speaking" in the Greek it is the word blasphemia which means injurious speech, slander, impious and reproachful speech. In today's terminology, abusive speech or reviling is the number one way to become resentful. Deep resentment or bitterness is also the root of anger (violent emotion), clamor (loud and confused noise especially that of people shouting in an intense manner) wrath (inflaming wine which either drives the drinker mad or kills him with its strength)!

The devil is never content to keep his misery to himself. He likes to destroy the purity of our heart by filling it with anger, resentment, violence, and lust. He hates the purity in children. That's why he works so hard to destroy the innocence of children by trying to expose them to drugs, alcohol, evil speaking(music), violent content, and pornography. It's our job as parents or guardians to guard their hearts by guarding ours. The devil wants us to stay in the sin of resentment or bitterness so he can dwell with us. "Be angry, and do not sin. Do not let the sun go down on your wrath, 27 nor give place to the devil." (Ephesians 4:26) This word "place" means opportunity and power as well as habitation. When we stay in the sin of bitterness or resentment we have rented out space to the devil in our minds and hearts. When we don't forgive it grieves the Holy Spirit. God's word exhorts us to "forgive one another as Christ forgave you." Before the sun goes down every day we should make it a habit to forgive and let go of bitterness. 

The Nature of Bitterness

Bitterness is a weed that springs forth from the heart continuously wanting to be watered by new offenses, and new people. Unfortunately, this weed is a blind spot in many people's lives. It is often hard to see because it tends to live in the minds, and hearts of those who have harbored a grudge. They nurse it continuously in their conversations by repeating the matter in their minds. Soon this weed starts to affect the personality of the person making them cynical, sarcastic, suspicious, critical, negative and having a sour attitude. They also eventually become hardened, unresponsive to God, alienating them from people until they find themselves alone. Bitterness is a stronghold caused by thoughts that slither around in the minds of the offended making them get lost in their darkened thoughts for vengeance or retaliation.

It often punishes others for the mistakes of someone who had committed the wrong. That includes not helping others when being asked for help or being grudging about giving of themselves. You can tell someone is bitter by the way they bring up those who have offended them. They blame the person for what is happening in their life now and slander them behind their backs. They displace the anger they feel onto people who remind them of the offender. They assume that everyone will treat them the same way, and never give that person a chance to prove themselves. They recreate the offense to prove to themselves that they have every right to be angry thus keeping bitterness alive in their hearts. Bitterness gives them a sense of entitlement to hurt others just like they have been hurt. They often make excuses for mistreating others. Love and compassion are non-existent in the place of bitterness. They cannot co-exist. People that are bitter are often critical, judgmental, over-sensitive, and find it hard to be kind to others. After all, everyone is out to hurt, offend or disappoint them. Some times the person sulks in long periods of self-pity citing every offense as a reason for their present woes.

Unforgiveness has very similar aspects to bitterness. However, bitterness tends to mask its true feelings behind flattery, a fake smile, and hidden hostility. Unforgiveness makes a solid decision to blacklist the person and move onto other things. Bitterness spreads like cancer polluting the waters of that person's spirit. Eventually, they vomit up the bitter waters of their soul in their conversations defiling the hearers, and sowing discord wherever they go. This is especially dangerous if you are sitting under someone who is bitter, and ministers out of a place of bitterness. You can be sure that they will continually bring up past events, and offenders to justify present actions. The focus is continually on those who are offending them, and never on their own character flaws. If perchance that person gets others to take on the offense; division, and strife ensue. The root of bitterness is pride. It can not get past the fact that someone actually rejected them, offended them, hurt them, corrected them or moved on in their lives.

Bitterness is like a tea bag it seeps in the hot water of every conceivable imagination, and lie inspired by hell. Soon, those who are bitter start to become paranoid, suspicious, and find fault in others. You will often see these people either writing blogs or making videos of other ministers they believe are part of the great conspiracy against all Christians or heavily involved in finding secret government plots. They become known for all kinds of conspiracy theories and often will run from any submission to authority. Their hurt drives them from any commitment or intimate friendship with anyone. I'm not trying to make a blanket statement here, just understand there are various degrees to unforgiveness, and bitterness is its fruit.

If any of this has any striking similarities then understand that most everyone you know has been hurt at one time or the other including Jesus. We can't stay in that hurt and live there. My friends, if you recognized any of these behaviors please realize that we have no right to stay in the sin of unforgiveness or keep a record of wrongs against us. We are not to be "conceited (arrogant and inflated with pride); rude (unmannerly) and acting unbecomingly. We do not insist on our own rights or our own way, we are not to be self-seeking; touchy or fretful or resentful; we should not take account of the evil done to us [or pay attention to a suffered wrong.]" (1 Corinthians 13:5) Amp. my version

Perhaps you know someone like that then here is my advice: Bind the lying spirit that continues to whisper in their ear, and ask God to loose their will from every evil spirit that is controlling them either emotionally or mentally. No one can really free a person from this unless they are willing to let go of it.

Why you should let go of bitterness
1. You will actually not be able to move on or grow up spiritually if you don't let go of offenses, hurt and unforgiveness. It will actually keep you in a backslidden state.

2. Your prayers will be hindered. You will cease to walk in favor.

“And whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him, that your Father in heaven may also forgive you your trespasses. But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father in heaven forgive your trespasses.” (Mark 11:25-26)

Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered. (1 Peter 3:7)

3. We can not embrace our future if we stay in the past.

Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, 14 I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. Philippians 3:13-14

4. We give power to the person to continually hurt us by repeating the matter over and over again in our hearts. We also give our power and authority over to the devil to keep us in bondage to him. It becomes a chain around our necks.

5. We are not hurting the person that hurts us. We are actually hurting any chance of having a healthy, and happy relationship in the future.

6. We need to realize that most people deserved to be judged but that is something God decides not us. We also need to understand that we also deserve to be judged but God mercy on us.

For we know Him Who said, Vengeance is Mine [retribution and the meting out of full justice rest with Me]; I will repay [I will exact the compensation], says the Lord. And again, The Lord will judge and determine and solve and settle the cause and the cases of His people. Hebrews 10:30 Amp.

7. Jesus said, that if we want to be forgiven then that same privilege must be extended to others.

And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven (left, remitted, and let go of the debts, and have given up resentment against) our debtors.

14 For if you forgive people their trespasses [their reckless and willful sins, leaving them, letting them go, and giving up resentment], your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15 But if you do not forgive others their trespasses [their reckless and willful sins, leaving them, letting them go, and giving up resentment], neither will your Father forgive you your trespasses.

(Matthew 6:12, 14-15)

8. Retaliation or passive aggression is the same as taking vengeance. God knows our hearts, and this behavior is not from God.

Repay no one evil for evil. Have regard for good things in the sight of all men. 18 If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men. (Romans 12:17-18)

9. Letting go of the seed of anger when you are initially offended or hurt. We can not afford to give the devil a foothold into the door of our life. It actually gives the devil the right to torment us. See the parable of the unforgiving servant in (Matthew 18:21-35)

10. The only way to overcome evil is to do good to those who hurt us.

Therefore
“If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
If he is thirsty, give him a drink;
For in so doing you will heap coals of fire on his head.”
Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. (Romans 12:20-21)

Getting Free From Bitterness or Unforgiveness:
1. Please realize that no one "owes" you anything. This would make them debtors and Jesus called us to forgive our "debtors." People don't owe us anything because they are not our source. When we make other people our source we make them idols in our lives. People were never meant to be the source of our peace, acceptance, love, joy, and approval. That goes against our original design. When we make other people our source we give over our power to them. Then they decide for us when we should be happy, have peace, feel loved, feel adequate, feel secure and know our worth. In essence, this is the root of all codependent behavior. It stems from a mindset of entitlement or feeling like people "owe" us.

2. Pray for those who have hurt you. This is a kingdom secret! This will cultivate the ground of your heart and make you ready to truly release the person from your heart. At first, you may not feel like it but do it in faith and your heart will follow.

But I tell you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you. (Matthew 5:44)

3. Ask God, by the Holy Spirit, to search your heart and reveal hidden hurts or resentments that may be buried.

Search me, O God, and know my heart;
Try me, and know my anxieties;
And see if there is any wicked way in me,
And lead me in the way everlasting. (Psalm 139:23-24)

4. Forgiveness is an act of our will. Ask God for the grace to help you do this task and then make a list of people who have hurt you and talk to God about what they did.

For example, you can pray the following:

I forgive _________for____________ and I release them to you. I refuse to bring this up anymore or think about it. I shall not repeat the matter or rehearse it in my mind or heart. Do this until all feelings of hurt are gone.

Here is a checklist of possible people you need to forgive:

1. Parents

2. Siblings

3. Ministers

4. Yourself

5. Abusers

6. People who have used you.

7. Employers

8. Friends

9. Children

10. Other family members

11. Strangers

12. God

4. After we have prayed and forgiven them we must be willing to destroy the mental and emotional records of those who have hurt us.

5. We must be willing to go to that person and make things right in person. We are not responsible for the response of others.

Therefore if you bring your gift to the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, 24 leave your gift there before the altar and go your way. First, be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift. (Matthew 5:23-24)

Special Note: Some people are best left alone if they are holding a grudge against you, and will not relent in their abusive behavior towards you. Just stay away. Forgive, forget, and pray for them at a distance. It is not necessary to stay in relationships that are toxic to prove you forgave them. Also, forgiveness does not mean self-martyrdom which means you continue to allow them to hurt you to prove you are good Christian. Even Jesus knew when to keep his distance from vindictive religious folks.

If you are in an abusive relationship or marriage please read:
When to Leave An Abusive Relationship If you find this article helpful or would like to donate to our ministry please do so on our home page by visiting our website:
Jaziz Gutierrez
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Number One Sin In The Church

I don’t know what is happening lately but the Holy Spirit has been speaking to me in the wee hours of the morning causing me to become restless in my sleep.  The Holy Spirit asked me a question, “Do you know what the number one sin in my church is?”  I rolled around a few thoughts but honestly could not think of anything because I was still in the daze.  I heard the word “reviling.”  Over and over again the word reviling kept tumbling around in my spirit until I got out of bed to look it up. 

Revile – Synonyms: rant, rail

To use abusive or scornful language against (someone or something)

To assail with contemptuous or opprobrious language;
Address or speak of abusively.

I was surprised because this was totally unexpected.  What is even more shocking that Jesus said that it could send us to hell!!!

Matthew 5:21-22 “You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not murder, and whoever murders will be in danger of the judgment.’ But I say to you that whoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment. And whoever says to his brother, ‘Raca!’ shall be in danger of the council. But whoever says, ‘You fool!’ shall be in danger of hell fire.

Matthew 12:36 But I say to you that for every idle word men may speak, they will give account of it in the day of judgment.

Wow.  Who doesn’t call people names on the freeway or say things about others in frustration.  Have you ever called someone and idiot or a jerk?  This is not any better than calling someone a fool.  God’s word says that we will give an account for every idle word.  We need to repent of our slip ups too!  I started to really feel convicted and the fear of the Lord took over when I read the following:

1 Corinthians 6:9-11 Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, ¹⁰ nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God. ¹¹ And such were some of you. But you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus and by the Spirit of our God.

That’s right you read it.  You will not inherit God’s kingdom if you habitually call people names, curse, tell people off and verbally abuse others.  They put this sin in the same list of sins as adultery and homosexuality.  Why is reviling so bad?  It violates the second commandment of loving others as you would love yourself.  I told this to someone and they responded to this by saying, “How in the world can we live up to this standard?”  Note the following scripture.

^{1 Peter 2:21-23} For to this you were called, because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that you should follow His steps:²² “Who committed no sin,
Nor was deceit found in His mouth”; ²³ who, when He was reviled, did not revile in return; when He suffered, He did not threaten, but committed Himself to Him who judges righteously;

Jesus was our perfect example.  He was abused the Roman government and Jews.  He did not retaliate.  He did not open his mouth to defend himself.  He did not argue.  He did not give them a piece of His mind.  This can only happen if we walk in humility.  If we walk in pride then we will stir up strife. 

There will be Christians reading this who have made it a habit to abuse their spouses and children with their words.  You may also be guilty of abusing others at work or on the road. According to God’s word you are a reviler and cannot inherit the Kingdom of God.  You need to repent.  Jesus said, “You are in danger of hell fire!”  I could tone this down but we need to grasp the gravity of the consequences of living this way.  In God’s mind verbal abuse and name calling is injuring someone else’s spirit.  Some of you be struggling being in the presence of God not really knowing that this being caused by this sin.  I’m not saying this is easy but God’s standards are clear:

Matthew 5:43-48 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven; for He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. For if you love those who love you, what reward have you? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? And if you greet your brethren only, what do you do more than others? Do not even the tax collectors do so? Therefore you shall be perfect, just as your Father in heaven is perfect.

This is when true grace comes in and helps us become Holy.  Some may confuse grace as an excuse to sin but true grace helps you live for God.  There is a blessing for those who allow themselves to be persecuted and reviled. 
(1) They inherit the kingdom of heaven.
(2) They receive a great reward in heaven
(3) They shall take their place alongside the prophets were persecuted for righteousness sake.

Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake,
For theirs is the kingdom of heaven. “Blessed are you when they revile and persecute you, and say all kinds of evil against you falsely for My sake. Rejoice and be exceedingly glad, for great is your reward in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you. (Matthew 5:10-12)

Let’s pray:
Dear Jesus, we ask you to forgive us for using our mouth as a weapon and hurting others with it.  We understand this violates the second commandment of loving others as ourselves.  We repent of being a reviler and ask that you would help us by putting a guard over our mouths.  Please change our hearts.  Your Word says that whatever comes out of our mouths, comes out our hearts and is defiling us.  Cleanse us from all defilement and heal all those we have hurt with our words by being careless. Forgive us for every idle word.  We are asking that your Holy Spirit bring to mind the things we may be doing and help us change them.  In Jesus Name. Amen.

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