Imagine a glass that you are trying to drink out of but can't because there is a crack in it, and the water is slowly leaking out. You keep refilling it but the water does not stay in it. This is the plight of every relationship that tries to drink out of a vessel that can't hold water. It leaves the other person thirsty, and frustrated. What if instead of being broken together we were filled, and whole? How wonderful it would be to drink out of the overflow of each other's life!
There is a beautiful song by Casting Crowns called "Broken Together." As I was pondering the meaning of what it meant to be broken together I realized that to be broken in a relationship is a very dangerous thing to be. In our brokenness, we often hurt the ones we love from a place of woundedness. We don't mean to but our hearts and souls can be so damaged that we find ourselves protecting ourselves from any perceived attack. Without even thinking about it we can use the most vicious weapons to fight off the threat. Suddenly the person we love becomes the ex-boyfriend, ex-husband, ex-wife, ex-girlfriend, mother or father that hurt us. We take out the weapons of intimidation, fear, rejection, silence, running, and anything else that will stop the pain from reoccurring. Before we know it we are reacting, and not responding anymore. We get caught up in a vicious cycle of defending and attacking. It soon becomes an all-out war. What happened to love?
The devil wastes no time in capitalizing on the lies, and injuries of both parties. The devil delights that the warriors who were meant to take him down are now focused on each other instead of him. The bible warns us, "But if you bite and devour one another, beware lest you be consumed by one another!" Galatians 5:15 Before you know it both parties are so injured that now the devil can take them out.
What can we do?
You need to heal. Don't rush God's work. Take time with the Father to go into the deepest hurts of your heart. Don't be afraid. He's gentle but you need to be brave. As human beings, we run from going to the dentist or doctor for fear of pain. Yet it is the very thing we need to do so we can get better. Any injury or wound that becomes infected can take us out. This is true spiritually. Delays in treating symptoms, and flare-ups can take you out. I've had dear friends go to be with Jesus early because they did not check out the symptoms they were experiencing and died an early death as a result.
Be humble: The church is filled with hurting Christians who refuse to be authentic and transparent about the things they are experiencing. They hide behind God. Trying to make everyone think they are okay or they get so preoccupied with the ministry that the problem just grows worse. I've done it. God wants a healthy person more than he wants you to minister for him. The world will be okay if you take the time to take care of yourself.
Time to detox: The best way to detox spiritually is forgiveness, and releasing others that have offended you. Jesus warned us that offense would be the number one thing that would take Christians out in the last days. "And then many will be offended, will betray one another, and will hate one another. Then many false prophets will rise up and deceive many. And because lawlessness will abound, the love of many will grow cold. But he who endures to the end shall be saved." Matthew 24:10-13
Put the past behind you: We all do this. We obsess about the "what ifs." We can't change what has happened and we can't allow an event to define us. We can't allow our behavior to cause us to believe that we are beyond redemption. What we believe about ourselves determines our behavior. Our identity is in Christ. We have his DNA, and we don't have to succumb to patterns or habits that we were raised with.
Embrace truth: Lies are all the devil has to defeat us with. Spend time in God's Word. Embrace what he says about you, and your situation. Stop listening to the lies in your head. Here's the truth: There is no hole too deep or too dark where the love of God and His light can't reach you.
Walk in love: In everyone's life, we must make a decision to love even if it is at a distance. Love must dominate our words and actions. It is not a feeling. It is a command! Your feelings will catch up. Grace enables us. Remember you become like the person you hang out with the most. Love is the work of the Holy Spirit being poured into our hearts. We must spend time in His presence to become like love itself. If we walk in the spirit, the oil of his presence will make it impossible for the enemy to get a grip on us. It is an essential oil.
Finally, understand that we are all undergoing the process of sanctification. None of us can become like Jesus overnight. This takes much time, and if you feel like you are beyond help, please realize that with God all things are possible. He loves you. He is in the business of restoration, and reconciliation. There are many times that we will fail but that does not make us failures. There are many times that we will sin but that does not make us sinners. For a righteous man may fall seven times And rise again, But the wicked shall fall by calamity. Proverbs 24:16 Just get up and Jesus will dust you off. He's waiting.
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Jaziz Gutierrez
Facebook: School Of Impartation and Living
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