Get Real Love by Being Authentic

Authenticity is the key to unlocking your true self, staying true to your personality, values, and spirit, irrespective of external pressures urging you to act otherwise. It's about being honest with both yourself and others while taking responsibility for your mistakes. It is also the key to R.E.A.L connection and love.

Unfortunately, we create a false self because we were never accepted for who we were as children. We could never measure up or feel worthy enough to feel loved. Many of us constructed a false self as a defense mechanism, shaped by childhood experiences where acceptance was elusive. Feeling unworthy of love, we often conceal our true selves behind a facade of pride to mask shame, fear, and rejection. In the process, we inadvertently push away those who genuinely care for us.

The unmet needs of our childhood led us to find other ways to get those needs met such as manipulation, intimidation, domination, seduction, self-pity, and a host of other controlling behaviors. We often mimic what we see at home and when getting our way becomes our end goal; we end up creating a false self to get what we want. The desire for love and acceptance drives the false self. Consequently, we live inauthentically, failing to meet the imaginary standards set by others or ourselves, leading to a build-up of shame and anger. 

The repercussions of this lack of self-love manifest in patterns of self-sabotage, self-hatred, and destructive behaviors, hindering our ability to have genuine love and compassion for others. Our needs getting met takes priority over others. We only say or do what they want to hear. We are in survival mode. We often become oblivious to the casualties of our actions.

Is there a better way? Absolutely! Here are steps to guide you toward authenticity:

Trust in God: Rely on God to meet your needs; unlike unreliable or absent parents, He is steadfast and reliable. There is no need to manage things on your own.

Release Fear: Authentic love cannot coexist with fear. Let go of fear-driven controlling behaviors that drive people away. Realize your fear suffocates people and they deserve to breathe. Fear kills relationships this way.

Recognize Unconditional Love: Realize that you are already loved and accepted by God; there's no need to fake it until you make it. Love out of the revelation and overflow of being loved.

Prioritize Others: Prioritize loving people over getting what you want from them. All narcissistic behaviors are rooted in the "me" first mindset. While you might get what you want on a short-term basis you are robbing yourself of authentic love and relationships because people are eventually put off by this behavior.

Let go of Pride: Shed the barriers of pride preventing you from becoming your authentic self. No longer use pride as a defense mechanism that fends off people from your wounded self.

Release Shame: Don't allow accusatory thoughts to keep you in self-destructive patterns. You are not your behavior.

Relinquish Control: Trust in God's process and commit your ways to Him, allowing Him to manage the relationships in your life.

Heal Inner Wounds: Address the wounds that fuel inner chaos, rejection, and insecurity. Don't bleed on people just because you haven't taken the time to heal.

Abandon Retaliation: Refrain from hurting others in response to their actions; let God be the ultimate defender. Learn to be a safe person that people can feel comfortable being around.

Avoid Excuses: Take responsibility for your actions, and don't make excuses for bad behavior. Real people have real problems and they take responsibility for what they do. Blaming others disempowers you and keeps you in a victim mindset.

Seek Self-Discovery: Allow God to guide you in discovering your true self, understanding that self-love is a journey. You are worth the effort and the love.

Stick to Values: Adhere to your values and convictions, ensuring they align with true biblical values such as love, humility, and Christ-like character.

The end result of embracing authenticity is self-love, a powerful force that, in turn, enables love for others. By prioritizing genuine connections, we pave the way for mutual love and the fulfillment of our needs in legitimate ways. Embrace authenticity, and you'll find yourself on the path to R.E.A.L connection: Respect, Encouragement, Acceptance, and Love. ✨️ When you're real, you get R.E.A.L. love.

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If Church Is Not Producing Righteousness

If church is not producing righteousness or holiness in your life in the fear of God, if it isn't changing the way you look at sin, if you feel no conviction to change or make excuses for compromising God's Word then you are in either an apostate church or in a lukewarm church. Jesus said, ‘I know your actions, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were cold or hot. 16 Since you are lukewarm and neither hot nor cold, I am going to spit you out of my mouth. 17 You say, “I am rich. I have become wealthy. I don’t need anything.” Yet you don’t realize that you are miserable, pitiful, poor, blind, and naked.

18 Therefore, I advise you to buy from me gold purified in fire so you may be rich, white clothes to wear so your shameful nakedness won’t show, and ointment to put on your eyes so you may see.

 19 I correct and discipline those whom I love, so be serious and repent! Revelations 3:15-19

Revelation without transformation is rebellion.

Jaziz Gutierrez 

Repentance Means Freedom!

What good does it do to repent and still be bound? Doesn't salvation mean freedom? If we are saved what are we saved from? Shall we be like Catholics whip our backs with condemnation only to stay in our chains? Shall we confess our sins to the priest only to return next week to do the same? Shall we pray with our rosary of deliverance prayers, and satisfy the righteous requirements of Christ by going to church? Are these not dead works? Works/religious activities instead of true surrender  and turning away from sin? For as the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without works is dead also. James 2:26 Therefore leaving the principles of the doctrine of Christ, let us go on unto perfection; not laying again the foundation of repentance from dead works, and of faith toward God, Hebrews 6:1 More importantly, repentance is a change of mind and attitude towards sin. So much is our change of mind towards sin that it causes us to turn from it and not desire it anymore. This is when we truly experience freedom and the sacrifice of Christ is no longer in vain. 

Jaziz Gutierrez

Don't Let Go of the Rope

I hear the Lord say, "Don't Let Go of the Rope!" Some of you have grown weary in prayer. You have literally been in a tug of war for people's souls. You have wrestled with God, the devil, and your own emotions for years.You have watched in horror as your loved ones have dangled precariously over the mouth of hell. Never give up! You may be the only person tugging on the rope that keeps them out of hell. What would you do if you knew someone was in a house that caught fire? Would you keep walking by? Would you leave them there to burn just because they hurt you? Nobody would be that wicked! Yet, many of us forget all the people around us who are perishing around us. We settle into our comfortable lives thinking only of ourselves. Even worse we get angry and take offense with the prisoners of Satan and don't bother to tell them of their chains. We give up on people because we are angry with them and literally we let them drop into hell. But why are we upset with the damned? We are the ones with hope and eternal life. Saints we must be praying as if people's lives depend on it and whatever we do...We must not let go of the rope! Again, no matter how angry or upset you get, "Don't let go of the rope."

Let him know, that he which converteth the sinner from the error of his way shall save a soul from death, and shall hide a multitude of sins. James 5:20

Keeping Our Wedding Garments Clean: A Call to Holiness

In the grand narrative of the Bible, the relationship between Christ and the Church is often depicted as a marriage, with Christ as the bridegroom and the Church as His bride. As believers, we are part of this bride, called to prepare ourselves for the return of our bridegroom. This preparation involves keeping our "wedding garments" clean, symbolizing our spiritual purity and holiness.

The Apostle Paul writes in 2 Corinthians 7:1 (NIV), "Therefore, since we have these promises, dear friends, let us purify ourselves from everything that contaminates body and spirit, perfecting holiness out of reverence for God." While the blood of Jesus has washed us clean from the filth of our sin, it is our responsibility to maintain this cleanliness, to keep ourselves from all spiritual defilement. This involves actively distancing ourselves from worldly pleasures and influences that can stain our wedding garments.

James 1:27 (NIV) provides a practical guide on how to live out this purity: "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." True religion, in the eyes of God, involves caring for the vulnerable and maintaining personal purity.

So, how do we keep ourselves pure and unspotted from the world? The scriptures highlight three key practices:

1. The Fear of the Lord: Psalm 19:9 (NIV) says, "The fear of the Lord is pure, enduring forever. The decrees of the Lord are firm, and all of them are righteous." Reverence and awe for God, acknowledging His holiness and our need for His grace, is the beginning of wisdom and a key to living a pure life. Proverbs 9:10 (NIV) echoes this, stating, "The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom, and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding." Proverbs 8:13 (NIV) further defines the fear of the Lord, saying, "To fear the LORD is to hate evil; I hate pride and arrogance, evil behavior and perverse speech."

2. Being Washed in the Water of the Word: Ephesians 5:25-27 (NIV) reads, "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless." Regularly immersing ourselves in God's Word purifies our minds and aligns our hearts with His.

3. Expecting the Return of Our Bridegroom: 1 John 3:2-3 (NIV) encourages us, "Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known. But we know that when Christ appears, we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is. All who have this hope in him purify themselves, just as he is pure." Living in the light of Christ's return motivates us to live pure and holy lives.

In addition to these practices, the scriptures also call us to a life of holiness. 1 Peter 1:15-16 (NIV) says, "But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; for it is written: 'Be holy, because I am holy.'" Similarly, 2 Timothy 1:9 (NIV) reminds us that God "has saved us and called us to a holy life—not because of anything we have done but because of his own purpose and grace." Leviticus 20:26 (NIV) also calls us to be holy, saying, "You are to be holy to me because I, the LORD, am holy, and I have set you apart from the nations to be my own."

These scriptures remind us of our call to live holy lives, set apart for God's purposes. They also highlight the importance of fearing the Lord, which is the beginning of wisdom and understanding. This fear is not about being afraid, but about having a deep reverence and awe for God's holiness and majesty. It's about recognizing His authority over our lives and choosing to live in obedience to His commands.

As we anticipate the return of our bridegroom, Jesus Christ, let us strive to keep our wedding garments clean, living lives of holiness and purity. We want to be ready for His return, unashamed and radiant in His presence.

Pride: The Hidden Obstacle in Overcoming Addiction

Pride, often seen as a virtue, can become a vice when it prevents us from acknowledging our weaknesses and seeking help. This is particularly true in the context of addiction, where pride can be a significant barrier to recovery.

The Nature of Pride

Pride is a complex emotion that can manifest in various ways. It can be a sense of self-worth and accomplishment, but it can also be a defensive mechanism that shields us from acknowledging our flaws and vulnerabilities. In the context of addiction, pride often manifests as a refusal to admit that we have a problem and need help.

Pride tells us that we don't need to take responsibility for our actions, that we don't need help, and that we can handle our addiction on our own. It can make us think that others are trying to control us, causing us to be defensive, and resistant to change.  It can also disguise itself as "knowing what it is best" and "nobody can tell me what to do" twisting our perception of ourselves and others.

Pride and Addiction

Addiction thrives on secrecy and denial. It convinces us that we are in control, even when our lives are spiraling out of control. Pride feeds into this illusion of control, making it difficult for us to admit that we are struggling and need help.

Pride can also make us resistant to seeking help. It can make us feel that we should be able to overcome our addiction on our own, without the need for therapy, or support groups. This can lead to a cycle of addiction, where we continue to use despite the negative consequences because we are too proud to seek help.

Overcoming Pride with the 12 Steps

The 12 Steps of Celebrate Recovery provide a spiritual pathway to overcome pride and addiction. Here's how they can help:

1.  Admitting Powerlessness: The first step is to admit that we are powerless over our addictions and that our lives have become unmanageable. This is a direct challenge to pride, which tells us that we are in control and can manage our addiction on our own. Have mercy on me, O Lord, for I am weak; O Lord, heal me, for my bones are troubled. (Psalm 6:2)

2.  Believing in a Higher Power: The second step is to believe that a power greater than ourselves can restore us to sanity. This requires humility, the opposite of pride because we are admitting that only God can help restore us.
But without faith, it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him. (Hebrews 11:6)

3.  Turning Our Will Over to God: The third step is to make a decision to turn our lives and our wills over to the care of God. This involves letting go of our pride and self-will, and trusting in God's will for our lives.
"Not My will, but Yours, be done.” (Luke 22:42)

4.  Making a Moral Inventory: The fourth step is to make a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. This requires honesty, humility, and a willingness to acknowledge our faults and weaknesses.
Search me, O God, and know my heart;
Try me, and know my anxieties;
And see if there is any wicked way in me,
And lead me in the way everlasting. ( Psalm 139:22-24)

5.  Admitting Our Wrongs: The fifth step is to admit to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. This is a direct challenge to pride, which often prevents us from admitting our mistakes and asking for forgiveness.
Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. (James 5:16)

6.  Becoming Ready for God to Remove Our Defects: The sixth step is to become entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character. This requires humility and a willingness to change. 
And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart. (Jeremiah 29:13)

7.  Asking God to Remove Our Shortcomings: The seventh step is to humbly ask God to remove all our shortcomings. This involves acknowledging our need for God's grace and mercy, and our inability to overcome our addiction on our own.
“Now, therefore,” says the Lord, “Turn to Me with all your heart, With fasting, with weeping, and with mourning.” (Joel 2:12)

The remaining steps involve making amends, continuing to take personal inventory, improving our conscious contact with God, and carrying the message to others. These steps all require humility and a willingness to let go of our pride.

Conclusion

Pride can be a significant obstacle in overcoming addiction, but it is not insurmountable. By acknowledging our pride, seeking help, and practicing humility, we can overcome our addiction and start on the path to recovery. The 12 Steps provide a spiritual pathway to overcome pride and addiction and to live a life of recovery and freedom.

Breaking Free from Codependency: Being Authentic

 

Codependency is a complex and often misunderstood concept. It's a relationship dynamic where one person sacrifices their own needs and desires to meet the needs of another. This dynamic is often seen in relationships where one person is an addict but can also occur in any type of relationship.

The sad thing about addiction and codependency is that they don't allow you to be authentic. Addiction is self-absorbed and it alters your personality. Codependency always tries to please others at the cost of being true to your dreams and aspirations. Addiction destroys our dreams and codependency forfeits them to make others happy. Either way, our identity is lost in both of these situations.

As long as we keep striving to make things happen on our own, we will never be able to break the cycle, be our true authentic selves, and fulfill our God-given destiny.
So, how can we break free from this cycle of codependency?

Recognize the Problem

The first step to breaking free from codependency is recognizing that there's a problem. This can, be difficult as codependency is often rooted in our fear of rejection and our need for acceptance.
Understand the Role of Fear
Codependency is rooted in the fear of man. Not being afraid of people but rather trying to make others happy at the expense of your own happiness, personal goals, dreams, and etc. When we aim at pleasing others instead of God, we make them our idols and yield our control over to them because of our own fears.

Trusting in God

Trust in God is not just about belief, but also about hope. It's about having faith that God will guide us, even in our darkest moments. When we trust in God, we are blessed and filled with hope. This trust is not passive, but active. It's about believing that God exists and that He rewards those who earnestly seek Him. When we aim at pleasing others instead of God, we make them our idols and yield our control over to them because of our own fears. By placing our trust in God, we can break free from the cycle of codependency and live a life that is true to our authentic selves.

Let Go and Let God

There's a misery to playing God in other people's lives. First, you can never get it right. You don't really know how to meet the deepest need of the human heart. That's when you choose either to allow God to step in or continue doing a lousy job playing his role. You need to step down so he can step in. This is the famous let go and let God thing everyone talks about. This is breaking codependency. You step down from your position of being God and trust Him to do his job.

Being Authentic

Breaking free from codependency means being authentic and transparent. It means letting go of the need to please others and instead focusing on pleasing God and fulfilling your own dreams and aspirations.

In conclusion, breaking free from codependency is a journey. It's a journey of self-discovery, of letting go, and of embracing your true authentic self. It's a journey that requires courage, faith, and a lot of self-love. But it's a journey worth taking.

Prayer

Father, we humbly ask you that you help us trust you and surrender the ones that we love to you. You are God and we are not. We don't know what is best for them and we can't fix them. We are going to stop compromising just to keep them happy. We command all fear of losing control to leave us now in Jesus' name! All anxiety and fear of the unknown to go in Jesus' name! We thank you now that you will take care of all our concerns the moment we let go and let you do your job.