This needs to be said plainly.
Some of the deepest harm happening to women in the church is not coming from the world.
It is coming from men who use Scripture to control women’s bodies, consciences, and silence them —and churches that allow it.
One of the most commonly weaponized passages is 1 Corinthians 7.
“Yes, it is good to abstain from sexual relations.
But because there is so much sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman should have her own husband.
The husband should fulfill his wife’s sexual needs, and the wife should fulfill her husband’s needs.
The wife gives authority over her body to her husband, and the husband gives authority over his body to his wife.”
(1 Corinthians 7:1–4)
This passage was written about mutual care, not entitlement.
But many men don’t read it that way.
They stop where it benefits them.
Selective Reading Creates Entitlement
Men who weaponize this passage focus on:
“The wife gives authority over her body to her husband”
And they ignore:
“The husband gives authority over his body to his wife”
“The husband should fulfill his wife’s needs”
The entire chapter, which emphasizes self-control, restraint, and mutual consent
This selective reading turns mutuality into hierarchy.
Suddenly:
Sex becomes a duty instead of a gift
“No” becomes rebellion
A woman’s conscience becomes inconvenient
A man’s desire becomes a command
This is how entitlement theology is formed.
Not by Scripture—but by using Scripture to excuse the flesh.
Hierarchy Is Not Biblical Marriage
Biblical marriage is not about power.
It is not about access.
It is not about demand.
Yet in many churches, women are taught—directly or indirectly—that:
They owe sex to keep peace
They are responsible for a man’s purity
Withholding sex is sin
Enduring discomfort is godliness
That is not submission.
That is coercion.
And coercion, even inside marriage, is still coercion.
“God is not a God of confusion, but of peace.”
(1 Corinthians 14:33)
If Scripture is being used to override a woman’s peace, safety, or conscience, something is wrong.
Pornography + Scripture = Spiritual Abuse
This dynamic becomes especially dangerous when pornography addiction is involved.
A man addicted to porn often already has:
An entitlement mindset
A performance-based view of sex
A reduced ability to empathize
A need to control and shame his partner.
Instead of repenting, some men reach for Scripture to justify demand.
They say things like:
“You’re my wife”
“The Bible says you owe me”
“You’re causing me to sin”
“You’re being disobedient”
This is not leadership.
This is spiritual abuse.
Jesus never used God’s Word to take from women or abuse them.
He used His authority to protect them.
“The rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them… Not so with you.”
(Matthew 20:25–26)
Any theology that gives men permission to override a woman’s body, consent or conscience is not Christlike.
Consent Does Not End at Marriage.
Marriage does not erase personhood.
A wedding covenant does not turn a woman into property.
Authority in Scripture is shared, not seized.
1 Corinthians 7 does not say:
“Take whenever you want”
“Override her ‘no’”
“Ignore trauma”
“Use her body to manage your addiction”
In fact, Paul begins the chapter by affirming abstinence.
“It is good to abstain from sexual relations.”
Self-control is not optional in Scripture.
It is required.
“Each one should examine his own actions.”
(Galatians 6:4)
A man is responsible for his own holiness.
A woman is not his regulator.
How This Damages Women
When Scripture is used this way, women experience:
Deep spiritual confusion
Guilt for having boundaries
Fear of displeasing God
Betrayal trauma
Nervous system shutdown
Many women stay silent because they believe leaving or resisting would mean failing God.
That lie keeps women trapped.
Jesus never traps people.
He frees them.
“Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.”
(2 Corinthians 3:17)
Silence in the Church Is Complicity
When churches refuse to address this, they protect power instead of people.
When leaders say:
“Just pray more”
“Be more available”
"Be a better wife"
“Don’t cause him to stumble”
They shift responsibility away from sin and onto women.
That is not shepherding.
That is abandonment.
Boundaries Are Not Rebellion
A woman who says “no” is not rejecting God.
She is honoring truth.
Distance is not punishment.
It is protection.
Refusal to participate in degrading dynamics that were learned from porn videos is not bitterness.
It is holy boundaries.
Jesus Himself walked away when truth was rejected.
“If they will not listen… shake the dust off your feet.”
(Matthew 10:14)
Final Word
Scripture was never meant to enslave women, treat them like they are second class citizens nor morally degrade them.
It was meant to reflect the character of Christ.
Any teaching that produces fear, pressure, entitlement, or silence is not bearing good fruit.
“By their fruit you will recognize them.”
(Matthew 7:16)
Women are not objects.
They are image-bearers.
And no verse gives anyone permission to violate another human being.
Closing Prayer
God of truth,
Expose what has been hidden behind religious language.
Protect the women who have been silenced, pressured, and blamed.
Break false authority that feeds the flesh instead of reflecting Christ.
Heal consciences that were violated in Your name.
Restore dignity where it was taken.
And teach Your people the difference between love and control.
Let Your Word bring freedom again.
Not fear.
Not entitlement.
Not abuse.
Amen.
Research & Resources
Dr. Omar Minwalla – Sexual Entitlement & Betrayal Trauma
https://theinstituteforsexualhealth.com
Fight the New Drug – Pornography & Entitlement Research
https://fightthenewdrug.org
Your Brain on Porn – Neuroscience of Addiction
https://www.yourbrainonporn.com
APA – Sexual Coercion & Relationship Harm
https://www.apa.org
