Every night was a nightmare for me as a child. The room seemed to breathe, terrifying dreams disturbed my sleep and sickness filled my body. Countless nights I spent in front of the TV as a child unable to fight off the fear and demons that visited me every night. What made things worse was that my Dad worked at night and I felt totally unprotected. Whenever I could I would try to sneak into the room and maybe find some comfort. I was sent back to my room every time. No one knew the torment I was living or why I was suffering from insomnia at such a young age.
What could have caused such anguish to begin? A simple trip to a witch-doctor as a baby in Mexico. I was deathly ill and it seemed like the only recourse of action. These kinds of self-proclaimed healers don't require insurance or much money. That open door not only kept me sick for years but became an occasion to later seduce me into becoming a witch. One way or another the demons were determined to end my life at a young age and stirred up a drug-addicted teen to end my life. I remember very clearly the day she took out a knife out the drawer and told me that she would kill me if I ever told anyone of her hatred towards me. I was around 6 or so. Too scared to tell anyone I kept it to myself. Unfortunately, my parents decided to go on vacation with this family and I spent my whole time in the tent too scared to come out. Thinking that I was being stubborn and disobedient my Father beat me to get me to come out. It did not work. A beating was far better than death in my young mind.
Physical punishment became part of my childhood and intimidation was used to get me to obey. I think this is the reason I became so introverted and shy. I could never look people in the eyes or speak without blushing. At school, things were not any different. I endured bullying for most of my school life. One time I was followed home and beat up by two boys because they were jealous of me and did not like my race. They decided to follow me after winning a stack of encyclopedias. One of the boys took their bike and rammed it into me while the other punched me in the stomach. I did not know how to defend myself. Another time I was followed home by another boy who grabbed me from behind and tried to sexually assault me. Fortunately, I was able to free myself from him by stepping on his foot.
After a while, I grew weary of the abuse and bullying. During a family vacation at Yosemite when I was 11, a spirit came to me and spoke to me, "Would you like to be strong and powerful?" I can't describe the seduction of that faint whisper and all I can think about was to the TV shows I used to watch. There was a show about a woman who had multiple personalities and it helped her overcome the abuse in her life. There was also a sitcom called Bewitched that had the character use their magical powers to solve their problems. Could I obtain such power I wondered? The seducing spirit gave me assurance that when I woke up that I would be different. When I woke up something had taken over with my full permission. My life took a slow but steady descent into the depths of darkness and the realm of Satan's kingdom.
I went from being shy to being angry and violent. I became the bully and I began my reign of terror on all those who crossed me. My sister used to hide in the bathroom so I wouldn't beat her up. I was around 13 at the time. The devil knew what he had to do to draw me in even more so he sent a girl whose mother was a witch to teach me witchcraft. Soon I was ditching school just to learn tarot cards, palm reading and mind reading. I was intrigued by psychic abilities and began practicing all of it. I was able to open locked doors, throw things with my mind, know what people were thinking and curse them. One day I did a séance for a friend and a spirit showed up scaring everyone who was there. I tried to conduct another séance on my 16th birthday but the prayers of a Christian kept me from being able to do anything. In Jr. High while reading someone's palm at school a girl accused me of witchcraft. Astonished by her accusation I told her I was a white witch. I was so deceived. The more I enjoyed the power I was given, the more I became lost, and soon found that I was losing my mind. By today's standards, I would have been diagnosed as paranoid schizophrenic or bipolar. My mother threatened to send me to a mental institution and at times I felt like I was on the verge of insanity.
Unfortunately, during those years I started to drink, become paranoid, see shadows, hear voices and lose control over my emotions. One day I was having a mental meltdown more like a demonic manifestation when a friend came over to slap some sense into me. I was crying, screaming, and laughing all at once. She jumped on my bed with me, slapped me, and started to shake me so would snap out of it. The demon didn't like that and threw her against the wall like a rag doll. She left my room frightened. Another friend tried to intervene and talk to me about my drinking. I kept a bottle of wine under my bed. I stopped my drinking but it didn't get rid of my crazy. During that time my goal in life was to have as many boyfriends as I was old not because I wanted to be loved but because I hated men so much I wanted to seduce them and dump them. I wanted them to feel the pain I felt because I had been abused by them.
It wasn't before long that depression set in. I tried running away from my problems and would be gone days at a time. Sleeping and fending for myself on the streets. I was a homeless youth trying to find a place of safety and rest. Finally, I had convinced myself that there was no love and life was not worth living. I started to plan a way to end my life. Yet another voice spoke up and told me that I did not have the right to take the life that God had given me. This idea might be strange to some of you but I was in church most of the time when these things were going on. It proves that religion will never set you free. Only faith in the cross of Christ can bring liberty to the captive.
In God's mercy, he sent me a friend named John. He stopped hanging out with us during lunch and I was curious as to his whereabouts. He told me he was studying the Bible during lunch. I accused him of being too good for us. He told me that I was more than welcome to join him. Feeling challenged by his invitation I went to the Bible study more out of spite and to show him that I was not intimidated by his invitation. As I entered the cafeteria there were a bunch of Christians praying. I was embarrassed by their open declaration of faith. When they were through praying I sat down and they read the following text:
Acts 16:16-18
And it came to pass, as we went to prayer, a certain damsel possessed with a spirit of divination met us, which brought her masters much gain by soothsaying: 17 The same followed Paul and us, and cried, saying, These men are the servants of the most high God, which shew unto us the way of salvation.
18 And this did she many days. But Paul, being grieved, turned and said to the spirit, I command thee in the name of Jesus Christ to come out of her. And he came out the same hour.
Suddenly, I felt naked in that room, I wanted to hide and my heart felt like something had pierced it. I felt like God's finger literally was pointing at me and saying, "This scripture is about you!" I found a way to excuse myself and felt injured like something was still ripping away at my mind. I couldn't shake it and for the next few weeks, I battled with the reality that I had a demon that needed to be cast out. I was possessed with the spirit of divination and witchcraft. I decided to take matters into my own hands and tell it to leave me and enter a doll I had. No success. I grew more suicidal and desperate.
In my desperation, I heard a still small voice tell me that I had no right to take the life God had given me. I felt led to open the Yellow pages and look for a church called Calvary Church. I had visited this church with my uncle one time in San Pedro and the presence of God was so thick that it made me weep the whole time I was there. All I knew was that I wanted to experience that again. I found a church a few miles from my house and decided to walk there. It was miles away but I was determined.
It wasn't long before I was befriended by the youth and one of them told me I needed to be born again. I couldn't grasp the concept. Then he told me that the devil would do anything to keep me from God and church. Sure enough, I started experience persecution at home and the battle was being waged to keep me from my deliverance. I felt the strength to press on so I kept on going to church though my family was opposed. While meditating on what I needed to do to get free, I felt like God opened up my understanding to this truth, "When I come in, everyone else has to leave!" I knew what I had to do to get delivered from the demons in my life. I had to invite Jesus into my very being and everyone else would have to go! At least that's what I thought.
Excited, about Jesus setting me free, I asked the youth pastor if could get saved. Shocked by this because the youth group was rather lukewarm he had me kneel down and he had me pray the sinner's prayer. To make sure it came from my heart, I prayed again this time making sure it was my words, not his. Immediately, after I prayed I felt a weight leave me, my mind became clear and I knew my captivity was over. I will never forget that day with Pastor Dewey it was on a Wednesday night February 2, 1982. I must have walked on clouds for weeks after that.
I had simply had shifted from darkness to light and now the voice of my shepherd was loud and clear. I became so conscious of His presence and one morning I heard him calling my name. Thinking it was my parents I asked them what they wanted. They could not hear me but I could hear the voice again. Finally, I sat up realizing that it wasn't my parents who were calling me. The voice began saying, "I am the Alpha and Omega; the beginning and the end. The bread of life. Feed my sheep." I knew that God had called me to a greater purpose. It was years before I was ready to answer that calling.
I wish I could say that this was the end of the story but it isn't. Shortly after I gave my life to Jesus I got into sexual immorality and I got infested with demons again. Even though I spent years in the church I could not get free from this generational iniquity. No matter how much I prayed, read my Bible, and attended church those demons started to cause me problems. I honestly thought I was born again but I never died. I never repented. I only accepted Jesus or incorporated him into my life. I never got out from behind the steering wheel. When I opened this door of sexual immorality, I also opened the door to a Jezebel and Ahab spirit. I continued for years struggling in my relationships and in my walk with God. I thought I could never be free until I finally had those demons cast out of me! If you are reading this today and find yourself trapped and captive in the enemy's camp. I have great news for you. You can be free from your captivity. The truth is when Jesus died for all of us he defeated every dark and evil force in the universe. His blood was shed on the cross to forgive us of all sin and destroy every claim the devil has over us. All you need to do is repent and get baptized then you can receive your deliverance. Surrender to God, ask Him to forgive you, forgive all those who have hurt you, and He will set you free. What you say isn't as important as placing your trust in what He has already done for you.
If you have never been baptized into repentance please visit our website: californiadeliverancecenter.com/
Facebook: School Of Impartation and Living
Jaziz Gutierrez
Facebook: School Of Impartation and Living
Jaziz Gutierrez
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