One of the biggest complaints I quite commonly hear among Christians is that their prayers are not answered. While there may be many reasons our prayers not being answered, there are times that we fail to recognize when God does. For example I had a friend who prayed to be married for years. He had gotten a girl pregnant and the girl truly loved him. He didn't find her attractive but she was a terrific mother and would have made a great wife. Before long she moved on and she got married. He was very upset! All he would do is complain about how someone else was raising his child. She waited quite a few years on him but he was caught up in indecision and being picky about her looks. She was actually a good looking gal. I ran into him years later, he was still alone, single and wishing he could be in his daughter's life full-time. Unfortunately, he failed to recognize the gift God had brought into his life and missed out on his blessings. His expectations were way out of the boundaries of being reasonable so he did not receive what he was believing for. I hate to say but this happens more than we think. We fail to seize the moment or enter into the doors God opens. We start to put unreasonable expectations on God.
A good example of a an unreasonable expectation is to believe for a young beautiful looking spouse when we are old and mediocre looking. The truth is many people believe for things in their flesh because they have been looking at far too many magazines. Most people do not look like Hollywood stars my friend. For instance, you might be entertaining mental fantasies that has created unreasonable expectations of your mate. You may be missing out on someone who is already in your life willing to love you but your are too hung up on an ideal that no one can live up to. Our selfish desires sometimes cause us to miss out on our answered prayers!
Another way you can miss your answered prayer is if you think you are too good for a job, a person or an opportunity. Pride will keep you from receiving from God. It isn't realistic to believe for something you can't afford. I knew a brother who refused to get a used car even though he was on a budget and instead wanted a new one off the lot. The most expensive one! Well the money came and went with no car. I knew another Christian who lost a job opportunity because they decided to make unreasonable demands for a salary. The employer never called back. You have to know when you are in a position to bargain and when you are not. Perhaps you are believing for a house when you don't have a job to make the payments. You may get what you prayed for but then not have the money to make the payments. We can't allow presumption to cloud our reasoning. God wants us to operate in wisdom. We must count the cost of every relationship, purchase, decision and hear God's voice in every matter. Faith may get us what we want but wisdom will help us keep what we received by faith.
Believe it or not unrealistic expectations caused the Jews to miss their Messiah. The Jews could not receive their king because they were stumbled at the fact that Jesus was looked upon a everyday blue collar worker. "Is this not the carpenter, the Son of Mary, and brother of James, Joses, Judas, and Simon? And are not His sisters here with us?” So they were offended at Him." Mark 6:3 They couldn't get over the fact that they knew him and the town he was from. Philip found Nathanael and said to him, “We have found Him of whom Moses in the law, and also the prophets, wrote—Jesus of Nazareth, the son of Joseph.” 46 And Nathanael said to him, “Can anything good come out of Nazareth?” John 1:45-46 They were expecting a Moses or Elijah and expected to be delivered from the hands of the Romans. They expected Jesus to overthrown the Roman government by force like Joshua or David but Jesus came to establish a kingdom that could not be seen. When the time came and Jesus was crucified they thought all was lost. They rejected Jesus as their savior because He did not meet their expectations.
This can also happen in spiritual relationships when people create unreasonable expectations of people in leadership. The truth is they couldn't possibly live up to the expectations they place upon others themselves. They expect every call, e-mail, or glance to be acknowledged or they get offended and leave the church. The problem with that is that they are probably missing out on something God had for them but they were never were around to receive it because of offense. There are people that literally wander around for years without anyone to speak into their lives and mentor them because they continually find fault with those over them. They want God on their own terms and on their own time. It doesn't work that way. Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded. James 4:8
In fact not being able to make to make up our mind, being hesitant, fearful, or expecting way too much are all signs of being double minded. Which really means that we are of two mindsets. The bible exhorts us this way, 6 But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind. 7 For let not that man suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; 8 he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways. James 1:6-7 Instability is caused by our lack of faith or double mindedness it causes us not to receive what we prayed for.
Not only can we miss God's answer to prayers because of our expectations are not reasonable but also because our expectations are too low. Perhaps we are asking God for a job with benefits and weekends off but then take a job that works us on the weekends with no insurance. Little did we know that the next call would have been our dream job but we failed to wait for it. Our unbelief can cause us to settle for less. Our desperation can cause us to be hasty.. We can't act out of desperation we need to move in revelation. 5 If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him. James 1:5 Yet, it happens all the time we get so impatient with the process of waiting that we jump ahead of God. I wonder how many people got married to the wrong people because they jumped in the sack before really waiting on God for the answer? I had a friend who desperately wanted to get married. He didn't care to who; he just wanted to be married. Well finally a girl complied and she ended up abusing him. Before long they divorced and I never heard from him again. He was the sweetest guy you could ever meet but he settled for less. How is God going to answer your prayers if you aren't willing to wait? "What are you believing God for?" What do you want? It is ok to be specific within reason.
Here is a great example from my own life. I was looking for a car and was a place of desperation because the car we were driving was breaking. We went to a car lot, quickly began the contract and went to get the money. We never signed anything they were still getting the car ready. My husband could not get peace. We called for prayer and the Pastor encouraged us not to be hasty but wait on what we really wanted. We felt embarrassed but we decided to go up the street to another lot. There it was, a natural gas car that my husband always wanted. We knew right away that we wanted it. It was what we waited for. I am so glad that we listened to the lack of peace we were feeling it saved us hundreds of dollars in gasoline. If we take the time to listen to God and wisdom we too can have our prayers answered.
You might be thinking, shouldn't someone do what they said they would do? It is better to back out of your commitment than to make a longtime mistake. We can't allow pressure to cause us to make detrimental choices. We can't ignore the red flags and sirens going off just because we don't want to look bad. Never ignore the red flags. I don't care if you already planned the wedding and caterers. God will do what he can to warn us but we need to take the time to hear Him. We can't allow ourselves to be people pleasers. We also can't be indecisive or hesitant because like I mentioned before we will miss out on God's answer for our lives. You may be asking God for a promotion but because you are hesitant to ask your boss for it you miss out on the favor God has for you.
Also, many people pray but don't follow through with their part. You have to put feet to your prayers! You can't expect to become wealthy by sitting at home without a college education, without trying to look for work or at least allowing God to prosper you through witty inventions or creative ideas. For some reason many Christians believe that somehow if they mystically put their money in the basket every week that they will automatically prosper. God's word says he will bless the work of our hands but that means you have to work. It seems like everyone wants to live off the gospel now or days. However, more than ever Christians are needed in the marketplace like places of government, medicine, education, entertainment and etc. I always hear about this wealth transfer that will supposedly come from the world. That my friends will happen when Christians leave their pews and start cooperating with God's plan to take over areas of influence. God has called us to take dominion over the earth. If you read the bible you will see God always raised up leaders among his people. Daniel, David, Solomon, Esther, Joseph and Moses were in key government positions. They were the decision makers of their day. Deborah was a judge and the general did not go to war without her! Abraham was a wealthy real estate tycoon he just needed an heir. God loves to bless his people but his people need to rise up to action.
Just to recap on how to get your prayers answered:
1. Set reasonable expectations by setting attainable goals. People don't plan to fail; they fail to plan.
2. Don't lower your expectations; God can do great things! Don't be hesitant, fearful or allow self doubt. This is unbelief and double mindedness. You will never reach solid ground in your life if you allow your mind and emotions to rule you.
3. Don't wait around for God to do everything rise up to action! Don't expect others to do things that you can do for yourself. Be proactive in what God has shown you.
4. Don't be afraid to change your mind if you have made a mistake. Please God not men!
5. Remember to get wisdom and revelation from God he is the best consultant you can ever find. Also, find people who provide good counsel to be sure you are hearing from God.
Where there is no counsel, the people fall; But in the multitude of counselors there is safety.
Proverbs 11:14
6. Get involved and cooperate with God. Believe it or not you can miss out on God's will if you sit around and do nothing. All his promises are conditional upon obedience. "If" "You" then "I" "Will."
7. Always know that God has the best in mind for you so never get tricked into believing anything less.
"Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me All the days of my life" Psalm 23:6
For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11
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